so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize