What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize