I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
