Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
