I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
