I think my vagina is haunted
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
