shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
