ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize