i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
