can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
