I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
