i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize