I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
