im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
