I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
