i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
