After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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