Having a random hookup so left but love u
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize