Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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