Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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