He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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