I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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