You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
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