It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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