you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
