There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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