Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
