that's an acceptable place to lick
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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