? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
