lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
