Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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