note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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