I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Drunk is not a location!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
