ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
