I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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