he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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