ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
