This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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