You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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