Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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