I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
