I should be sponsored by Trojan
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize