suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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