Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
