where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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