I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Randomize
