Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize