i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
