Hey man sorry I got all grabby
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
