this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
