no one should ever give us hovercrafts
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
