Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
