She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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