Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
