That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
