im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
