Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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