Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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