Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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